Monday, June 23, 2008

Day one hundred and seventy three ... Google this.

I have a fun new thing to do.

See, I kind of write in cycles if you haven't already figured out.

It usually starts with a memoir or two to get the juices flowing.

I'll get a bit sappy and wax on about my childhood and the trouble I'd get into and/or out of. Perhaps a lesson or two on why it's a good idea to not let your kid do whatever the hell he wants, because when he gets older and can sneak away from your wing, he's going to do just that: whatever the hell he wants.

That may not work out so well.

But once I'm warmed up I usually get down and dirty and delve into the dark times I spent a good part of each day in from adolescence till about six months ago. It's enough to sometimes make me wonder why I do this stuff. I mean, how much self-flagellation can a person stand (why are you snickering ... oh ... you guys are so gross).

But that's the stuff I have to get out because that's what's keeping me sane right now.

And then I get a little silly.

And right now, in this very post, I'm going to get a little silly.

Correction: I'm going to get all kinds of silly.

Are you ready?

OK. Let's go. Follow me.

Enter, ingredient number one: the enabler.

You may have used this stuff to put up posters on your walls--posters that now have footprints on them because they fell down because this stuff doesn't really work that well.

For my intentions, it only has to work for a short time.

Have I piqued your interest? I promise at the end of this I'm not going to tie it all in with drugs and alcohol. I wouldn't do that to you. I said this was going to be silly and goddamn it, I mean it!

Let's silly-up this joint.

Enter ingredient number two: the accessory.

Googly eyes--three hundred and twelve of them.

Umm ... make that three hundred and eight googly eyes.

And the fun thing is I have different sizes for different sized things.

I have small ones for small things like this ...

... and bigger ones for things like this ...

Which by the way, used to be my uncle Alex's way back when. It's a Smeck--a Roy Smeck.

Yeah, I couldn't believe it when I saw that there were about a hundred or so bags of these babies at the discount store in NoHo. And after a few weeks, there were still a ton of them left.

Score one for the F.A.J.

I mean, isn't this what the world needs right now. Aren't there so many horrendous things going on all across the country that a good laugh would be just what the doctor ordered. Am I the only one who thinks this is hilarious?

And not only do I think this is hilarious, but it also gives me a bit of a rush to know that I'm also flying in the face of common word usage. We all know what the recently accepted verb "to Google" means. But, as commonly used a word as it is, it's still a baby-word. And if I know one thing about babies is they are easily distracted.

Well, all I know is, I'm pretty sure it's not illegal, googling random objects for fun.

I mean, I suppose I run the risk of attracting the attention of the po-po.

But if the cops do get hot under the collar about the "Interstate Googler" I hope you are all around and watching the news when they post an A.P.B.

I can even picture the file photo they'll use ...

Now this guy definitely looks like trouble.

Oh yeah, I'll be sharing the pictures I take on this here blog. I hope nobody minds.

I have a feeling it's gonna' be a good time.

Just you watch ... watch the googly eyes.

Thanks for reading.

F. A. J.

PS: I know deep in my heart that the late, great, George Carlin would find this at the very least humorous, and at the very most endearingly subversive. He was one of the people who taught anyone who would listen how to not only question why we do the things we do, but to make us laugh while doing it, thus, making learning enjoyable.

He was a true comic maverick and will be missed.

R.I.P. May 12, 1937-June 22, 2008

Also, since I started this blog I have shied away from using links and/or embedding clips from the web as I feel that that is tantamount to trying to talk on the phone while watching television. But, this idea for the googly eyes probably would not have materialized without the following skit performed by the incomparable Christopher Walken. It's from Saturday Night Live originally aired on April 5, 2008 and it's one of the funniest things I have ever seen.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As soon as I started reading about this I kept thinking about the Googly Eyes SNL thing. I'm glad you posted the video. I, for one, would find happening upon random googly eyed objects in various places quite hilarious.