Sunday, January 13, 2008

Day twelve...The perfect day.


I have to type this fast so it will all still work the way I have it planned.

The perfect day:


Workday done?...check.

Steaming hot cup of Prince of Wales tea on sale because the box was smushed?...check.

Cordless phone?...check.

Bowl of wasabi soy nuts?...check.

Basin full of hot water with Epsom salts beneath my desk?...check.

Feet in ready position?...check.

OK... Go!

Lord have mercy!

If you've never experienced the feeling of soaking your tired paws in steaming hot water you have no idea what you're missing.

Yes, I get manis, pedis, and facials too. You know why? It's pleasurable. And pleasure is what I ultimately want to have as much of before I break my last string as they say.

Here's the trick. You have to have a container with really hot water on reserve for when the other water cools down. It's key. It's like having another ticket in your pocket when the roller coaster pulls in that you can give to the operator and not have to get back in line. Its awesome.

And it just washed away the unbelievable craving I have had all day to get cocked.

Not just a couple of beers. What the hell will that do? No. Cocked. Tall bottle of Grey Goose with my favorite glass cocked. A bucket of ice and the Stones on the turntable cocked. Yeah, I know it sounds good. But this is better.

Because I'm home, I plan on playing guitar most of the night, and my god damned cable got shut off last night.

Oh this feels good. Time to re-up. Just a bit more really hot water and...

It's true. I came home after doing four loads of laundry yesterday and turned on my T.V. in preparation for the big Pats game and I had a surprise waiting for me.

A blue screen.

A big, blue, silent screen that said 'Ch. 3' in the upper right hand corner so I knew it wasn't a mistake. And I don't get CBS even with the rabbit ears.

I hadn't paid my bill.

But my bill said overdue balance must be paid by 1/15/08

It's only the twelfth goddamn it. What gives?

"Hello, Comcast may I help you?"

"I hope so, my cable got shut off and it shouldn't have. It says here I have till the 15th to pay it and I haven't gotten any warnings or nuthin' from you guys."

"Well sir, you have an overdue balance of..."

"Yeah I know how much I owe but I should still have until Tuesday to pay."

"Sir, my records show that you made arrangements in December to have it paid by the end of the month."

"Oh, well...that must have been my roommate (I live alone). He never told me about it. I'll have to speak with him and get back to you. Thanks."

"Thank you for calling Comcast. Have a good day."

No I don't remember the conversation I had with him in December and you probably know why.

But I did take his advice. The part about having a good day.

In fact I'm just about ready to pull my feet up, towel them off, powder them, and put on some slippers.

The game was great even on the radio. It was simple. I wasn't distracted by all the bells and whistles on the television. I just listened and enjoyed myself. It was pleasurable. And pleasure is what I ultimately want to have as much of before I break my last string as they say.

I have clean laundry.

I have food to make dinner with.

I have a family and friends that love me.

It's going to snow 6-12 inches tonight and I can sleep in till noon if I want.

Yeah, I'm doing alright.

See you tomorrow.

Now go soak your feet.

You can thank me later.


Anonymous said...

I wonder if you know why Epsom salts are essential? They work by drawing the toxins out of the body. They are marvelous in a hot bath, especially if you have the kind of tub that you can fill up to your neck and just lay back and relax. Ahhh. Nice to have someone to pour in some more hot water, refresh your green tea (or Earl Grey).

It is amazing that we can have such a good day if it is what we choose. I used to feel lonely when I was all alone after a packed week of work and kids and juggling the bills. Now I enjoy the solitude. I live alone, too, and sometimes I blame my roommate!

Please do let me know if I comment too much or if you do not want my comments.

karen miscall-bannon said...

mmm... epsom salts are awesome! I have to way --I ended up listening to the game anyway, as I have such a hard time with those damned ads... they put me right to sleep. So, I just shut my eyes and listened! Took me back to the good old days (last week)! Sorry about the cable --how funny is that? You're such a rock star. I love your writing. Thank you!