Day one hundred and twenty-five ... My confession.

I saw my guy today.

I was up pretty much all night thinking about it.

Thinking how it's been so long since I've had some.

Man , oh man.

I've been so good for so long, taking care of my affairs, paying the bills, eating right, working out, staying out of trouble.

What's one visit downtown?

I gave it a lot of careful thought. I didn't just rashly make my decision.

It's the kind of thing where, if I do it, I'll have to worry about it showing up in my system. I mean, this kind of thing is pretty hard to mask. It's unmistakable. I'll have to treat it like all the other times and find a reason to stay away from the public for a while. At least until it's completely gone through me.

So I said, "Screw it!" and I went downtown. It took a couple of stops to find it. My usual dealers were out. They said they had had some just the day before and it sold like crazy.

And, you know, I could have found it almost anywhere, all year long. It's a pretty common thing. Pretty easy to find if you really want it. And while it's a bit more expensive now than it was last year ... well, isn't everything?

I finally found some. My guy was just opening up for the day. He said it had come in on a truck just the night before.

Figures.

So green, and fresh. It has an aura about it. I picked up a bag of it and looked at it and it just looked so vibrant, as if it were saying, "Hey man, I know you've been waiting a long time. You've been filling your plate with other things, feeling good, trying to convince yourself that you don't miss me. Well, you're a liar, and a bad one at that."

And I had to admit I was licked, fair and square. Done in by the greenest of the green.

My friends are going to kill me. I mean, not just because I bought some, but more so the fact that I didn't even think to share any of it. I just horded it all to myself like I always have.

What's mine is mine, right?

This boat's going down, and I'm going down with 'er.

Hmm ... well, I guess my aunt would want some too. Yeah, it's something I never thought she'd be into. Last year though, I brought some home with me and asked her if she'd ever consider trying it.

She told me someone had given her some a long time ago, but she didn't even know what it was at the time. She said she really didn't remember liking it, but after a little convincing, she gave in and finally agreed to give it another shot.

You only live once, right?

I told her the stuff I had was local.

I assured her it was the best you can get.

So I fired some up for her and she loved it. She started using it at all times of the day. She said, if I could find some each time I came home, to please, please, please get some and she'd pay for it. Whatever the cost.

So I can kind of blame her for my picking up again.

Such an enabler.

Thanks for reading.

It is officially spring.

Now go get some asparagus.

F.A.J.